Im not sad now. Im just deeply disappointed.
The feeling is not good & its hurt.


I've been contacting her since after my Japan trip(which was a few months ago).
I only heard the ringtone when I called, but no one picked up.
I sms-ed her but no replies..
I even tried calling her home twice but no one picked up

Calling her hp & smsing to her almost every week or every fortnight.
But still, I din get to hear her voice..

Finally,
I called on her mobile this tuesday but the same, no one picked up.
I then called to her house instead, finally someone picked up. Its her mum.
I asked for her daughter & I heard her mum calling for her..
A while later, she spoke "Hello"..
But, the moment I heard her voice, I hanged up.

Im stunned, shocked, relieved and really really disappointed for that moment.

Im stunned & shocked because I dont have any idea what to say to her and at the same time, shocked to hear her voice.

Im relieved because I finally know that she's alright.
(You know, I've been contacting for her for so long, thus my mind will definitely run wild when she didn't reply me..)

Lastly, Im really really disappointed & puzzled.
I just stoned for awhile & my tears just flowed out.
"If she's alright, why didnt she pick up my call or at least reply to my smses or even contact me??"
"Ok, if there's something happened and she's too busy with it. I guessed a phone call or even sms wont take an hr or something?"

Still remember that I've been looking for her since last year and finally, she replied me and we even met up?
After the meet up, she smsed me, " I will cherished this friendship, blah blah, happy that I've a friend like you, blah blah and will not suddenly disappear again.”




This is all bullshit.
And, Im tired for this kind of friendship.